“When someone shows you...
…who they are believe them, the first time.”
I adore this quote by the mighty Maya Angelou. It’s her signature ‘how-to’ on choosing healthy connections that have your best interests at heart.
The operative word being, heart.
I’ve been a hopeful romantic since the beginning of time – give or take a few lives. My belief in ‘happily ever after’ is steel-clad but, stupid humans have occasionally stained this. Still, I’m hopeful.
I’ve fallen for the ‘potential’ in paramours – not the reality. How gorgeous, sexy, witty, flirty, you are! And then… inconsistency, ghosting, apathy… throw in some gaslighting, manipulation and narcissism and I’ve got myself a lesson – not love. Unfortunately, sometimes I’ve had to repeat the class!
The truth is, we’re horrible liars. But it’s not our words or actions that communicate who we truly are to the world – since these can be embellished and performed consistently but… patterns?
If people show you who they are once, twice, thrice – it’s a pattern that can’t be faked.
As well as knowing why the caged bird sang, Maya understood human nature so her quote is explosive in its power to transform the way you love and let people in.
It’s not about instinct or following your gut. There’s no detective work required.
Believe in what a person reveals to you the first time simply because…
“… they know themselves better than you do.”
It’s Maya’s philosophy and mine too. I just need to follow it more.
What about you?
© Phyllis Foundis 2025